Finding Balance: Why We Need Our Stabilisers
Stabiliser (2026) Watercolour on paper, 5x5cm
We were out walking last Sunday afternoon and we walked past a young family; the parents were teaching their daughter how to ride a two-wheeler bike. “I remember my dad teaching me to ride my bike after taking off the stabilisers.” It seemed to take ages until I got the hang of it. It got me thinking though, why? Perhaps it wasn’t cool to ride a bike with stabilizers; you were a baby if you still had them on your bike, according to the older kids.
We have many challenges that we need to overcome throughout life. Why do we need to take something away that makes something easier for us? Yes, if you want to race bikes, it wouldn’t apparently be as exciting a sport if there were stabilizers hindering you going around corners, but most of us don’t race. Do we do this with other things? Yes, we do. For example, does anyone need to learn, if they find it a struggle, to tie shoelaces? Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying don’t bother teaching it. We absolutely should continue to teach our children life skills, and the joy on their little faces when they overcome these little challenges is priceless. But there is so much to learn. If one thing is a struggle, give them slip-on shoes, and later on, they can learn to tie their laces (if laces haven’t been phased out of our lives completely, because let’s face it, they are a trip hazard).
Last week, I became unwell very quickly while I was out. I had a migraine of enormous proportions, and I could barely stand. I couldn’t bear to look at anything; I couldn’t eat anything as I was so sick, and using my phone was out of the question. I was worrying about how I could cancel my work. As a freelancer, I was responsible for contacting students to cancel. It kind of got done—badly—but it got done, and I just sat in a darkened room. I knew that this was a migraine and that it would pass, but I knew then that I had spread myself too thin. Every minute of every day is filled with something to be done. I feel a failure if I miss something, cancel something, or have to let someone down. Yet, if anyone “lets me down” in the same way, I totally understand because it’s not letting anyone down at all.
Back to the stabilisers. We need our stabilisers, and these are different for everyone. I don’t mean family/house/job, etc. My stabilisers are walking and journaling; they are essential for my balance of well-being and calm. This is not about what we do that we think is best for others; we have to take responsibility for ourselves and our own well-being. Otherwise, our future self won’t be around or of any use to others.
So, I’ll take a step back, create a ‘not’ to-do list, and reset my start to 2026.
Samantha Humphreys 